My brother is funnier than your brother!

I adore my brother and sister. They are quirky, interesting, loving, incredibly smart, and my built-in best friends. They have been really great about keeping in touch with me while I am away, and we probably talk even more often than we do when I am only four hours away from home at college. Needless to say they drive me nutz, but I really miss them!

Of course, they are just as quirky, interesting, loving, and smart when I am 4,500 miles away from them, and they never cease to put a smile on my face. This email from my brother will probably put a smile on your face, too, even if you don't know him.

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An email from Mac:

Dear Tempe,

     

     Please feel free to write shorter emails. I do not actually care about what you have to say. However, the fact that you have mentioned Paul van Dyk redeems all aforementioned intrusions into my time.

     Just kidding. First, what kind of jackwagon asshat would attempt to steal 80 cents worth of copper piping from an active natural gas supply? Was this man immediately taken to the nearest mental institution? I hope he was. I'm sorry that you were woken up rather abruptly by firemen and police, none of which were probably even remotely attractive because, and let's be honest, they're Czech firemen. Not to say that Czechs are unattractive, but the firemen actually have to do their jobs due to a severe lack of building and/or electrical codes, and therefore do not have nearly the same amount of time as American fireman do to work out and pose for sexy firemen calendars. 

Anyway, they probably figure that since all the current Czech slave laborers are most likely wise to the Czech methods of slave labor, they would have no problem attracting college-aged American students to the Republic, with the allure of the opportunity to adventure in a third-world country, to perform unpaid "internship" duties (read: slave labor). Turns out they were correct. Needless to say, I am truly sorry for the amount of work that you have been required to do and hope that it drastically decreases before the next jackwagon asshat decides to break in and steal your [active] electrical wiring.

Other than those minor issues, sounds like you're having a good time.

P.S. - [omit] Yes, as your brother I have purposely failed to acknowledge the fact that you have met a member of the opposite sex and enjoy doing things such as "hanging out" and "going to dinner". [/omit] I love you. Stay safe (and away from large deposits of copper, whether in pipe or raw forms). For that matter, try not to smile so they won't try to steal your metal tongue ring. I'm sure that would be most unpleasant.

-Broda

My response:

I just peed myself. That is probably the funniest email I have ever received in my life. Ever.

Mac:

Blog me, blazer.


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Ahh, the joys of siblinghood. I miss you both a ton! Thanks for always putting me in a good mood.
I love you!

While that email is probably incredibly offensive to some people, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE! It definitely was only intended to make me laugh. Besides, I love it here!!